Indie Campers was the name of the campervan company we used for our Van Life adventure.  We named our camper Indie when we got her as on the side it said “Keep Smiling, Go Indie!”.  Here is my letter to her.

Dear Indie,

We first set eyes on you as we stood on the footpath outside the train station in Bologna.  The Camper company had sent you to pick us up and to be fair I wasn’t expecting you to be bright green with a picture of a scantily clad bustier enveloped lizard woman smoking a pipe with a smoking gun in your hand.  But you were…

We didn’t get off to the best start to be fair as Nigel left the camper depot and promptly drove on the left.  As I was saying “drive on the right”, he stalled the manual transmission and then proceeded to drive up and over the curb.  After we missed our google mapped turn off and ended up in a foreign carpark where we decided it was time for a reset.  So we did, we sat and thought about what we were doing and had a reset.

From there on in we were fine (after we had been to the hypermarket and bought a fan and some other pieces to keep us comfy).  And you didn’t want to drive on the left or stall or hit curbs anymore.

We want to thank you for a few things.

1. Thanks for not breaking down in countries where it would have been a right pain in the arse for you to have broken down.
2. Thanks for constantly reminding us that there was an issue with the drivers airbag and beeping every time we started you up.
3. Thanks for not breaking an axle on the potholes in Romania (and pretty much every other Eastern European country).
4. Thanks also for not getting a flat tyre as we didn’t pay the extra 12 euro a day insurance for that.
5. Thanks for not smashing head on into an incoming truck in the very very narrow roads of some countries that we probably shouldn’t have been in.
6. Thanks for not hitting a donkey driven carriage.
7. Thanks for not being blown off the road in the 100 kph winds at the top of the mountains in Croatia.
8. Thanks for not sliding backwards down the hill in the mud when we had to do a u-turn in the campground in the rain.
9. Thanks also for being such a talking point for every single person in the campground because you were so green.

We dropped you off today and I felt genuine sadness to see you drive away.  You’ve been our home for the last four weeks and we have learned to really love you.  To be fair when we turned up at the depot and dropped you off and saw some of the other visual designs of the vans we honestly thought we had the best one.  Thanks Indie, go have adventures with someone else now.

Love Jen and Nigel x

Dear Camping Grounds of Europe,

Hi thanks for having us the last four weeks.  I have a couple of suggestions you may want to consider.

1. Please advise on check in if you are going to be providing toilet paper (or indeed toilet seats or toilet doors or even only squat toilets). This would be handy.
2. Please provide liquid soap.
3. You may want to also ensure that shower heads have some form of hanger to hang on so you can have an actual shower rather than a hose down.
4. If you are providing a shower can you please also provide a space to put your stuff i.e. hooks to hang a towel on or a small shelf to put your clean clothes.
5. If you tout yourself as 4 star luxury then you need to provide toilet paper, I’m looking at you Italy!
6. Please also advise whether you need one passport, no passports, two passports, money in advance, nothing but a photo of the registration plate of the car etc. prior to check in.
7. If you are providing free schnapps after dinner then please don’t allow us to have more than one.
8. If you offer a kids club then please turn off the music before 10pm… kids need sleep and shouldn’t be doing the Macarena at 11pm!
9. Please don’t encourage dogs to your camp… they bark and lunge at people when they walk to the bathroom (with their toilet paper).
10. If you are situated above an all night rave party then please advise on check in. Dancing til 7am isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. (thank god for the background drone of the fan)
11. If you allow Germans into the camp can you please tell then to be quiet

Love Jen and Nigel x

The Chem Toilet Debacle

Sooooooo… Nigel and I had decided that I would take responsibility for emptying the chem toilet (as he had been dry retching for too many days in a row).  So off I went on my first chem toilet emptying experience.  I took my rubber gloves, my bottle of janola and a smile and good attitude J .  Four days before we had stopped in Greece to buy chemicals for the toilet (which were written in greek and therefore I had simply guessed if they were the right ones for these toilets, based on the pictures on the box).

I successfully emptied the contents of the cassette and then poured a good slug of janola into the cylinder, added a squirt of water and the lid and proceeded to shake the contents inside.

Right… let’s talk exothermic reactions… When unknown chemical A mixes with Chlorine and H2O in a confined space then you get smoke… thick smoke… smoke that pours out of a chem toilet like you’ve shoved a tonne of dry ice down there.  It also produces heat… like burny heat.. haha *awkward laugh.

My first thought was “how the hell am I going to explain to Nigel that I’ve blown up the toilet the first time I have to clean it”.  I then worried that the smoke would kill me if I breathed it in.  So I started pouring water down there.  Water and smoke and water and smoke and a slight panic that someone would walk into the chem toilet washing area and see me with a smoky toilet cassette and think I was an idiot.  I really should have paid more attention in fifth form chemistry.

 

My Croatian friend Marinka had taught me only one phrase in Croatian.  Jebe Mese!  It is a very not nice way to say that you don’t give a f**k.  She also gave me a list of things to see, eat, drink and places to go for the real Croatian experience.  It was a long list and I can see now why.  There is a lot to see, eat, drink and do in Croatia and it’s so incredibly beautiful.  When you get off the beaten track the little villages are truly magical.  Just so darn cute!  The water is super clear and blue and it’s just the ideal little holiday country to be in.

First stop on our Croatian adventure was in Dubrovnik.  As we drove that afternoon to our campsite we went right past the old town from high on the hill.  We were blown away with how incredibly beautiful it was and couldn’t wait to go exploring the next day.  That night we went to a local restaurant where I ordered Cevepici (which I couldn’t actually say).  Little minced meat sausages served with a locally made soft cheese and chopped raw onions.  It was great but we did get eaten by mosquitoes that night, however we were in Croatia so Jebe Mese!

We took the bus into the centre and as soon as we arrived we realised that the loudies were back.  Umbrellas, hats, perms, headphones in to hear the guide and an inability to shut up are the key characteristics.  Anyway, we bought our wall ticket and walked right around slowly taking in the sites and the smells and the general awesomeness of being right in the middle of Kings Landing.  Right in the middle of the day we got hit by a massive thunderstorm.  We pulled out our rain jackets and hunkered down for a bit.  Even in the pouring rain we were having a great time.

The cable car to the top was a definite for us (even though we could have driven up the next day) we love a good cable car.  The view was quite spectacular.  I think it was up there that I told Nigel that Dubrovnik was one of the seven wonders of the world.  He now knows that I’m pretty much full of shit.  I also realised that I am confusing the UNESCO sites with seven wonders, but to be honest Dubrovnik should be a wonder.

After Dubrovnik we went to Split.  This is where my friend Marinka was from and so we had a very specific list of things to do.  The old town in Split is another walled city centre filled with cobbled lanes and archways.   Added bonus is the markets within the city walls selling everything you could think of.  Meat, veges, cheese, salamis, clothes, souvenirs and tiny handmade bags filled with lavender.   We wandered about and ate in the local restaurant and just generally had a good time.  Our camping ground in Split was right on a beach which was a godsend at the end of the day as the temperatures got up to mid thirties and so we welcomed the chance to swim in crystal clear waters in the evening.  A quick jaunt to the Fort which is the site for Kahlesi’s castle in Game of Thrones topped off another wonderful Croatian city.

From Split we headed out to the islands where we were told the beaches were spectacular and we weren’t disappointed.  Another couple of cruisy days lounging on the beach and swimming in the most incredibly clear water I’ve ever seen.  So clear you could see the fish trying to nibble your toes and the crabs scurrying around on the sand.  The car ferries to these islands run every hour or so and  a simple roll on roll off affair.  So great for us to get out to see them and still have the van with us.

Inland then to see one of the seven wonders of the world (Or possibly another UNESCO site) Plitvice Lakes.  A series of lakes joined by travertines that flow downhill connected by waterfalls.  There are kilometres and kilometres of walking tracks that take you through, under, over and beside the lakes and waterfalls and are incredibly well maintained considering the size of the national park.  When we arrived it was raining.  The campground was a muddy, soggy, wet mess.  The temperature had also dropped to 12 degrees and the overnight low was around 4 degrees.  We hunkered down that night in the van listening to Fat Freddies Drop and hoped for the weather to clear the next day.

It didn’t.

We decided to chuck on a raincoat and brave the cold and wet.  And it was still amazing.  So beautiful and the lakes are so clear.  We walked the first track and after 3 hours were soaked to the bone and starting to get really cold.  But Jebe Mese! We wanted to see the damn lakes so we carried on.  We made a judgement call to see if the sun came out the following day to go back and try the other side of the park.  Luckily the sun was shining and we managed to see the other side (even though it was a long drive that night for Nigel to get to our next stop which was Trieste Italy via Slovenia.

I can’t tell you much about Slovenia but I can tell you that the drive there from Plitvice Lakes through Croatia take you past some incredibly sad and confronting parts of war torn Croatia.  As you drive past the abandoned buildings that are covered with bullet holes and right next to them are the grave sites, all with the same date of death on them.  It brings you back down to earth and was actually quite humbling.   It also reminded you that there are still landmines in the ground and that the wounds have not healed for so many Croatians.  Was so sad.

However what I can tell you about Slovenia is that they like a good wood pile there.  Perfectly stacked and completely uniform woodpiles.  Almost as awesome as the haystacks in Romania!  Another new country to add to our rapidly growing list.

From Trieste in Italy we moved on to San Marino (14^th new country this trip and yes we did it on purpose!).  We stayed in a really good camping ground that was a 2 hour drive to drop off our camper the next day in Bologna.  To be fair we weren’t expecting too much of San Marino and really only went there because of the country count and the convenience.  We were so wrong.  It turned out to be one of the best nights of the trip.

We took the shuttle to the old town where they dropped us at the bottom of the walls.  We took the lift to the top and precisely as we walked out of the lift we ran into a parade of probably 100 people dressed in traditional 12^th century clothing and carrying authentic crossbows and flags and walking with drummers along the cobbled streets of San Marino.  We had no idea what was going on but we watched in awe and then decided to follow the parade.  It ended in an enclave within the city where they proceeded to have a crossbow championship firing massive arrows at great speed into the bullseyes down the end.  All whilst the kings and queens of the village sat and ate fruit and drank wine from a long table on the grass.  We could not believe our luck!  We found out (after a bit of a google) that this is an annual event and we happened to be literally at the right place at the right time.  The costumes were incredibly detailed and to see the crossbows in action was totally fantastic.

We ended the evening seeing probably the best sunset we’ve ever seen eating pasta and salad at the very top of the city.  We got lost on our way down and ended up wandering all along through the cobbled streets until we found a bar and got them to ring us a taxi.  What a totally amazing night.  One we will never ever forget.

 

 

 

So we ended our Eastern European adventure at the Black Sea in Bulgaria where we decided to head into Northern Greece for a Souvlaki.  We had been to Greece before but only to Athens and the islands so we were quite surprised with Northern Greece and how incredibly beautiful and different it is to the islands.  Biggest difference was the houses.  More Mediterranean than the white and blue houses of the islands and were instead cream with an orange tiled roof.  Our first night was spent in a campground that has a restaurant which according to the reviews made the best Greek Salad and Souvlaki in all of Greece.  When we arrived the lady at reception looked at us as though we had three heads.  And this is when we realised that Greece doesn’t open until the 15^th of June.  They weren’t ready for us and we ended up being one of two campers in the whole campground.  Also, as the restaurant wasn’t open Nigel and I had to use one of our emergency dinners that we been carrying with us and so first night in Greece we had Hungarian Goulash and some form of pickled vegetable salad from Romania.  They did have free washing machines and so we used our evening to create a Chinese laundry out of the volleyball nets and wash everything we owned.

With our camper smelling like laundry we headed off further along the coast to a seaside resort town to have a swim in the med.  The resort was very typical of Greek beaches.  Rows and rows of sun loungers with an umbrella and you can either pay to rent them or buy a drink form the bar.  The water was incredibly clear and warm like a bath.  We basically parked up and spend the afternoon swimming and sunbathing and enjoying the chilled out atmosphere.  Then we went to dinner!  Souvlaki, Greek Salad Tzatziki and grilled eggplant with peppers.  It was the best meal I think I had ever eaten.  Parked up on the beach beautiful weather and some seriously good food.

The next day we headed inland to an area called Meteora.  Wow it was beautiful.  The mountains are washed and smooth and there are a multitude of monasteries built within the hills and perched on the sides of the mountains.  We stayed in the best camping ground that we had stayed in the whole trip.  It was a family run affair whereby they crank up the outdoor grill every night and serve souvlaki and mixed grills and Greek salads and tzatziki and grilled eggplant and everything you could want.  I then decided that that meal was the best meal I had ever eaten and that Nigel and I should move to Greece.  The next couple of nights we cooked our own souvlaki and made our own Greek salads and bought tzatziki from the supermarket.  After almost a week of it we decided we were good to go for Souvlaki and could move back to something else.

 

Our adventure started after leaving Vienna and heading straight through to Bratislava in Slovakia.  Beautiful castle on the hills and a generally lovely city.  We made our way to a farmers market and we were blown away with the selection of salamis, breads and cheeses.  We also managed to find an English speaking beer connoisseur (who looked exactly like the comic book store guy fro the Simpsons).  He spoke awesome English (which I think he had learnt form online gaming) and encouraged Nigel to try a vast selection of Slovakian beers.  We also had a Slovakian wine recommended and so after filling our reusable grocery bags with a selection of produce we were off to the camp ground.  They don’t make campgrounds in Eastern Europe like they do in other places.  But more on that later.

Our next major stop was through into Budapest for a look around the city.  We decided there and then that the next time we visit it will be on one of the lovely river cruise boats that we saw lined four deep across the Danube (which isn’t as blus as the sing tends to make you think).  They are all parked up and it’s so easy to jump off for the day and do the grand tour (inclusive of goulash and free wifi.).  It was very humbling though to be in such a magnificent European city.

That night we stayed at a very out of the way campground next to a lake.  We went swimming as soon as we arrived and it was lovely to be so close to nature.  Just after dinner one of the Hungarian locals (who had a permanent dwelling at the campsite) dropped by and in very broken English said “come for drink – no crazy”.  We refused and he insisted “No crazy” he kept saying “no crazy”.  Well how do you pass that up?

Nigel had spent some time working with Hungarians in Russia and so only knew one word in Hungarian “Aggashigida”.  It’s basically “cheers” or “yay! lets have some more spicy flavoured booze that comes from a bottle in the shape of a football”.  Really handy language skills for our drinks with the locals.  As it turns out he and his wife and 8 year old son and the neighbour weren’t crazy.  They were just so fascinated with how two New Zealanders ended up in Hungary in a bright green Portuguese Camper.  We managed for a whole evening using Google translate.  It was great fun.

That was also the night I dropped the phone and cracked the screen… but that’s another story.

From Hungary we were off to Romania, which we loved.  I fell in love with Haystacks, Storks, Castles and Horse drawn carriages.  The roads are really terrible in parts, like terrible but the villages we went through with their gypsies on the side of the road selling berries to the special stork nest things on the lampposts were really special.  I assume they build the storks a nesting perch so they don’t build over their chimney.  But seeing the stork with their chicks sitting in almost every town was sensational.  You do have to avoid the horse and carts though and that adds another skill level to the driving.

We stayed a few nights and then headed right into the heart of Transylvania to stay at Vampire Camping in Bran.  Home to Draculas Castle.  Vampire Camping was actually quite good.  They provided toilet paper and the showers had doors – bonus and they had painted blood dripping from a V on every post in the camp.  I had a pretty sleepless night though as the wind had picked up and it started to howl.  I know it was my imagination but I was a little freaked out in Transylvania, it was moody and bleak and just a bit scary.

What an incredible experience that day was.  The castle was packed with locals and the most tourists we had seen in ages.  We queued to enter the castle which was high on a hill and as we entered it was 27 degrees and sunny.  By the time we had toured trough half of the castle and were entering the courtyard the temperature had dropped and the thunder and lightning had set in.  I also then saw a wolf… It could have been just a big black hairy dog but let’s go with wolf!  I swear that if I’d heard a wolf howl at that time I would have run for my life.

After we left he castle we climbed up into the mountains where the temperature dropped to 12 degrees (from 27 degrees) and the rain washed all the bugs off our camper.  By the time we had reached the Black Sea (our next destination) the temperature was 30 degrees and the bug splats were back.

Our Black Sea Destination was the bees knees for the Romanians.  Us… not so much.  Imagine a beach covered in the umbrellas and beach chairs to hire that stinks of sewerage.  The campsite we had chosen too left a lot to be desired and I can advise that most people tend to miss the squat on the squat toilets… blurgh!  We ended up not bothering with showers that day and proceeded to just put up with each others smell.  But I guess that’s what in sickness and stinkiness and health is all about – Love.

 

22 hours of travel from Vietnam to Venice and we were knackered.  It also didn’t help that I had developed a raging fever and terrible tummy bug on the plane and so when we arrived jetlagged in the rain and tired in Venice I have never been so thankful for an early check in.  The Hotel Canal Grande was right on the Grand Canal and we were so thankful for the sleep.

I love Venice.  I could wander the streets for weeks and still never get bored with the beautiful houses and the lovely canals.  The small back streets with little restaurants and bars were just heaven.  We did the touristy thing and we did the back street thing.  And loved them both.  Went for a boat ride across to Murano to see the glass and walked for hours and hours.  But I tell you what.  We spent some money there.  Compared to South East Asia we were spending five times as much money for everything.  We drew the line at 100 euro for a 20 minute gondola trip.  We can watch others from the bridge.

After some wonderful days in Venice we hopped on a train to Bologna to pick up our van.   Brilliant train trip in the fast train to Bologna and then we met with our Indie Camper crew.  We spent more than an hour going through the van and how it worked and scrummaging through the items left by previous travellers that we might want to take with us.  We decided to stay very close to Bologna to sort ourselves out before heading off on our big Eastern European Adventure.  Next day we went to an Italian version of K Mart and stocked up on all sorted of things to make our life more comfy.  A fan (in the 30 degree heat) was an essential and also nice pillows and mozzie repellent.

It’s amazing how little things like that make such a difference.

Then it was up into Vienna to stay with Nigel’s cousin Chris and his family.  How lovely to arrive somewhere where they offer you a washing machine and free food and the wifi password.  So special catching up with them all again.  Nigel and Chris were up until all hours of the night solving the problems of the world and watching the International Space Station.  We loved our time in Vienna again and seeing Chris and the family once again.  Family across borders.

When it was time to leave we packed up and were waved off by Chris to start our Eastern European Adventure.  About 20 minutes later we realised that we had left the main backpack with the passports and creditcards in it on the couch so it was back to see Chris again.  He was waiting at the gate with the bag when we got back and laughed as he waved us off again.  Love it.

The first time we ventured into the streets of Hanoi I honestly thought I was going to be killed.  The traffic and the noise is horrendous.  You are constantly on your game, trying desperately to not get run over, or more commonly, burnt by the exhaust pipes of the mopeds.  Next time round we were a little more seasoned but still it’s a nightmare.  We had another night at the Oriental Hotel (who were so happy to see us back they made me my very own Papaya Salad for breakfast because I liked it so much).  Just one night though as the next day we were to embark on your 3 day 2 night Halong Bay cruise.

I had been telling Nigel the whole trip that everything was one of the seven wonders of the natural world.  Apparently Haloing Bay actually is!  We were picked up from the hotel in the early morning and then a three hour bus trip to the harbour.  We stopped off so that we could (if we wanted) buy large ornate stone carvings of lions etc. for our front gate.  If you do buy them and you are from another country then you get your photo on the wall.  Good on you Steve and Beverly for buying a large stone dragon to be shipped back to Hamilton.

The boat was adorable.  Only 14 cabins with a small restaurant.  They feed you as soon as you get on the boat and then they set sail.  Wow wow wow!  Halong Bay is just stunning.  You could watch the scenery all day.  There are two different parts to the bay.  The Halong side and the Bai Tu Long side. The Halong side has over 600 ships every day all parked up in the same area.  The Bai Tu Long side has 34.  The Halong side also likes Karaoke whereas the Bai Tu Long side likes squid fishing.

The first night they gave us small fishing rods and turned on a huge light to attract the squid.  Needless to say we spent a good half an hour and saw absolutely nothing.  We had also teamed up with a really nice couple form Quebec who also though it was hilarious to be squid fishing in Vietnam.  We had a lot of laughs with those guys.

Next day the boat goes back to the harbour with the 2 day one night people and we got offloaded onto another day boat where we were taken out to a small inlet where we could go kayaking.  We kayaked right around the islands until we found a small beach.  We could then go swimming and look out for the jelly fish.  The day before one of the tourists had been badly stung by the jellyfish and so we were super careful.. Had a false alarm when a plastic bag drifted past at one point.  And there lies the issue with Halong Bay.  It’s polluted.  And it’ a shame because it’s actually one of the most beautiful natural locations I have ever seen.

We went back to the boat for more food and another go at squid fishing.  We had already decided that we would pretend that there were a million quid the night before (for the new passengers onboard.  But no more than 5 minutes after throwing in the line our friend from Canada had caught one through the body and was hurling it onto the ship.  The debacle of squid spurting ink and not really knowing what to do with the damn thing ensued.  Nigel very gallantly unhooked the squid while the staff went and got us a bucket.  As it turned out no one wanted the squid.  We tried to gift it to the staff but they weren’t keen. In the end we left it in the bucket… poor thing.

Back to Hanoi for one more night.  What an adventure our South East Asia trip has been.  So many sights, so many flavours and senses and an incredible experience.  We really loved it and will definitely be back.