I love Las Vegas. I love how some people hate Las Vegas because it’s tacky. I think that’s probably most of its charm. When we were in Venice we encountered a group of Americans on a bus to the airport who were saying how similar they found the real Venice to the Venetian in Vegas. Where else can you go from Paris to New York to Venice within a short casino infused wander. Take it for what it is and just enjoy the people watching, the constant sound of pokie machines and the sheer number of bachelorette and bachelor parties and “Wilson Family Holiday 2018” tee shirts.

The first time I went to Las Vegas was with my Mum, Dad and brother in 1990. We stayed in the Dunes Hotel which three years later was imploded in typical Las Vegas style with fireworks, cannon blasts and massive amounts of explosives while 200 000 people watched on. The Bellagio with its wondrous fountains was built on the site. My mum wasn’t keen on Vegas as she had absolutely no interest in gambling but my dad really wanted to go. Let’s just say that mum discovered the Poker machines and at the end of the trip was fossicking around in the bottom of her handbag for a loose quarter to slot in a machine for one more try before we left the airport.

Over the years I’ve been back and each time I have left money behind in the machines and on the tables. This time was going to be different, Nigel and I were determined to win the million. I was also determined to find a $5 Blackjack table and take the house down. Let’s just say that we did win. At one point Nigel came up with a $280 chit that he had cashed out. I on the other hand was $70 up on the blackjack table and so he had to go and insert the $280 into a machine to have something to do while I continue playing the table. He won again! And then he lost and I won and then I lost again. That’s pretty much summed up the whole 5 days in Vegas! They give you just enough joy to keep going back and then just when you’re having a good time and have worked out how much to tip the drinks waitress, Vegas strips it all away a from you. Leaving you sitting on a chair you’re your terrible glass of wine, watching other people win money as they slot their cash into the other machines.

I did manage to convince Nigel to learn how to play Blackjack though. He was a bit hesitant to begin with but after a few hands he started to get the hang of it. By the end of the first night when he was yelling “bust bust bust” at the very amply endowed croupier I knew I had him hooked. Then we lost our money and went home.

Speaking of home… I had scored the best goddamn hotel room of the whole trip. We stayed at Hilton Vacations at the Flamingo in a one bedroom apartment. It’s a timeshare resort so when you arrive the spend the first few days trying to convince you to go to a presentation on timeshares but after a while they give up. But holy heck! Massive bedroom, bathroom, spas bath, full size kitchen with the biggest microwave I’ve ever seen and a full washing machine and dryer. Well I was in heaven. For those of you who travel you know how hard it is to get clean clothes. We had washed clothes in the sink and wandered hours to the laundromat for almost five months now so I literally washed everything we owned. Was so exciting! And at around $100 a night it was the best value hotel we had in the States.

It had suddenly hit us that we were only days away from going home and for me days from being back at work so I decided I needed a hair cut. I booked in with Tinesha at the next door casino and turned up at my allotted time. Tinesha proceeded to talk incessantly for two hours. She was actually really interesting and taught me a lot about the psyche of an average black American woman. Her biggest fear for her teenage sons was that they would be killed by the police. She didn’t worry about car accidents or drugs as she said she raised good men. But she said that good black men are getting killed every day in America and it scared her to death. She had five kids with three of them in College costing her $30 000 a year each that she knew would be worth it. She also hated Trump, loved Obama and didn’t think that Oprah should run for president. She was third generation from being a slave and one day wanted to go back to Louisiana and buy a plantation house for her extended family to live in. Her husband proposed to her for the first time when they were both seven years old and proposed to her every year for the next 20 years until she finally agreed to marry him. They get married again every 5 years (lots of options in Vegas) and this year would be their 20th wedding anniversary so they were going to go back to Louisiana for another wedding ceremony. Finally she spent a good 20 minutes telling me how to tip in America. How much for the busboy, how much for taxi drivers, that you should tip Uber drivers and that it was generally 15-20% for Hairdressers and that you add it to the bill like in a restaurant. Anyway considering she had waist length braids in her hair she did a pretty good job on some blonde moderately curly, pulled through a bush backwards hair. She deserved her 20%.

Anyway, to cut a long story short we did not win a million and have once again left money in Vegas that we need to go back and win back one day… that’s the plan anyway.

As we left Las Vegas and it’s 43 degrees of stifling airless heat outside we were not ready or prepared for San Francisco and its 14 degrees of fog. We stayed in Chinatown with an amazing view of the bay that we couldn’t see most of the time because off the fog. Right outside our hotel was a Hop on Hop Off bus and if you’ve been following along you know how much we love a Hop On Hop Off bus. So on we hopped!
We wrapped up in every layer we had as the windchill took it down to about 5 degrees and headed off on the open top double decker hanging to each other for warmth with a smile and a good attitude. What a unique city. We loved the architecture and the Harbour area and had a wonderful lunch overlooking Alcatraz after watching the Sea lions at Pier 39.

On our first night we found out that San Fran is famous for its $1 oysters. As you know Nigel loves oysters so we went off to see what they were like. What we found was a cute little French bistro in an alley way that served homemade paté and French rosé and as many oysters as you want for $1 each. Needless to say this little place became our local and we would wander down in the afternoon for an entrée before dinner.

But it was all coming to an end. We were getting ready for our final day. How would we get to the airport and what time should we leave? Were our bags over weight, did we need to dump anything heavy before check in? What time was the latest check out and could we store our bags? All questions that very soon we wouldn’t have to worry about. We wouldn’t worry about which hotel we would stay in next or where to find a convenience store and whether we had to eat cereal with chopsticks because we didn’t have a spoon. We wouldn’t worry about trip advisor reviews or money changing or finding somewhere to eat dinner. We wouldn’t worry about how to get our clothes clean or how to find our way back to our accommodation in the dark. We wouldn’t worry that the we’d get sick or hurt ourselves and be somewhere where no one speaks English. We wouldn’t worry about check in’s and check outs and Ubers. We wouldn’t worry about getting our luggage over cobblestones or up steep stairs. No more worries about where we put the passports and did we have both credit cards with us. I guess heading home would be “No Worries!”

After 32 countries and every form of transportation known to man we were on our final journey home. As we stepped on the plane headed for Auckland we got a text from Stefan. “I’ll see you in the morning” he said.