My Croatian friend Marinka had taught me only one phrase in Croatian.  Jebe Mese!  It is a very not nice way to say that you don’t give a f**k.  She also gave me a list of things to see, eat, drink and places to go for the real Croatian experience.  It was a long list and I can see now why.  There is a lot to see, eat, drink and do in Croatia and it’s so incredibly beautiful.  When you get off the beaten track the little villages are truly magical.  Just so darn cute!  The water is super clear and blue and it’s just the ideal little holiday country to be in.

First stop on our Croatian adventure was in Dubrovnik.  As we drove that afternoon to our campsite we went right past the old town from high on the hill.  We were blown away with how incredibly beautiful it was and couldn’t wait to go exploring the next day.  That night we went to a local restaurant where I ordered Cevepici (which I couldn’t actually say).  Little minced meat sausages served with a locally made soft cheese and chopped raw onions.  It was great but we did get eaten by mosquitoes that night, however we were in Croatia so Jebe Mese!

We took the bus into the centre and as soon as we arrived we realised that the loudies were back.  Umbrellas, hats, perms, headphones in to hear the guide and an inability to shut up are the key characteristics.  Anyway, we bought our wall ticket and walked right around slowly taking in the sites and the smells and the general awesomeness of being right in the middle of Kings Landing.  Right in the middle of the day we got hit by a massive thunderstorm.  We pulled out our rain jackets and hunkered down for a bit.  Even in the pouring rain we were having a great time.

The cable car to the top was a definite for us (even though we could have driven up the next day) we love a good cable car.  The view was quite spectacular.  I think it was up there that I told Nigel that Dubrovnik was one of the seven wonders of the world.  He now knows that I’m pretty much full of shit.  I also realised that I am confusing the UNESCO sites with seven wonders, but to be honest Dubrovnik should be a wonder.

After Dubrovnik we went to Split.  This is where my friend Marinka was from and so we had a very specific list of things to do.  The old town in Split is another walled city centre filled with cobbled lanes and archways.   Added bonus is the markets within the city walls selling everything you could think of.  Meat, veges, cheese, salamis, clothes, souvenirs and tiny handmade bags filled with lavender.   We wandered about and ate in the local restaurant and just generally had a good time.  Our camping ground in Split was right on a beach which was a godsend at the end of the day as the temperatures got up to mid thirties and so we welcomed the chance to swim in crystal clear waters in the evening.  A quick jaunt to the Fort which is the site for Kahlesi’s castle in Game of Thrones topped off another wonderful Croatian city.

From Split we headed out to the islands where we were told the beaches were spectacular and we weren’t disappointed.  Another couple of cruisy days lounging on the beach and swimming in the most incredibly clear water I’ve ever seen.  So clear you could see the fish trying to nibble your toes and the crabs scurrying around on the sand.  The car ferries to these islands run every hour or so and  a simple roll on roll off affair.  So great for us to get out to see them and still have the van with us.

Inland then to see one of the seven wonders of the world (Or possibly another UNESCO site) Plitvice Lakes.  A series of lakes joined by travertines that flow downhill connected by waterfalls.  There are kilometres and kilometres of walking tracks that take you through, under, over and beside the lakes and waterfalls and are incredibly well maintained considering the size of the national park.  When we arrived it was raining.  The campground was a muddy, soggy, wet mess.  The temperature had also dropped to 12 degrees and the overnight low was around 4 degrees.  We hunkered down that night in the van listening to Fat Freddies Drop and hoped for the weather to clear the next day.

It didn’t.

We decided to chuck on a raincoat and brave the cold and wet.  And it was still amazing.  So beautiful and the lakes are so clear.  We walked the first track and after 3 hours were soaked to the bone and starting to get really cold.  But Jebe Mese! We wanted to see the damn lakes so we carried on.  We made a judgement call to see if the sun came out the following day to go back and try the other side of the park.  Luckily the sun was shining and we managed to see the other side (even though it was a long drive that night for Nigel to get to our next stop which was Trieste Italy via Slovenia.

I can’t tell you much about Slovenia but I can tell you that the drive there from Plitvice Lakes through Croatia take you past some incredibly sad and confronting parts of war torn Croatia.  As you drive past the abandoned buildings that are covered with bullet holes and right next to them are the grave sites, all with the same date of death on them.  It brings you back down to earth and was actually quite humbling.   It also reminded you that there are still landmines in the ground and that the wounds have not healed for so many Croatians.  Was so sad.

However what I can tell you about Slovenia is that they like a good wood pile there.  Perfectly stacked and completely uniform woodpiles.  Almost as awesome as the haystacks in Romania!  Another new country to add to our rapidly growing list.

From Trieste in Italy we moved on to San Marino (14^th new country this trip and yes we did it on purpose!).  We stayed in a really good camping ground that was a 2 hour drive to drop off our camper the next day in Bologna.  To be fair we weren’t expecting too much of San Marino and really only went there because of the country count and the convenience.  We were so wrong.  It turned out to be one of the best nights of the trip.

We took the shuttle to the old town where they dropped us at the bottom of the walls.  We took the lift to the top and precisely as we walked out of the lift we ran into a parade of probably 100 people dressed in traditional 12^th century clothing and carrying authentic crossbows and flags and walking with drummers along the cobbled streets of San Marino.  We had no idea what was going on but we watched in awe and then decided to follow the parade.  It ended in an enclave within the city where they proceeded to have a crossbow championship firing massive arrows at great speed into the bullseyes down the end.  All whilst the kings and queens of the village sat and ate fruit and drank wine from a long table on the grass.  We could not believe our luck!  We found out (after a bit of a google) that this is an annual event and we happened to be literally at the right place at the right time.  The costumes were incredibly detailed and to see the crossbows in action was totally fantastic.

We ended the evening seeing probably the best sunset we’ve ever seen eating pasta and salad at the very top of the city.  We got lost on our way down and ended up wandering all along through the cobbled streets until we found a bar and got them to ring us a taxi.  What a totally amazing night.  One we will never ever forget.